fifteen things you do at home when you’re alone

1. Move from your bedroom to the living room. Let’s face it, no one can interrupt your Netflix if no one is home to do it.
2. Throw a concert consisting of one singer and no audience members. Why do you always sound better when no one can hear you?
3. Listen to music AT A REALLY LOUD VOLUME until the neighbors come over to complain about it. Then you become a ninja, hiding behind furniture and being really quiet.
4. Actually do your chores. You go, Glenn Coco!
5. Jump and dance around the house. Sometimes you occasionally have to stop, curl up into fetal position, and cry because you Hit the Quan too close to the tables.
6. Binge watch. Is there no end to this series?
7. You pee with the bathroom door open.
8. Play video games. Finally, level two.
9. If you haven’t walked around without your shirt on, you’re lying to yourself.
10. You say tons of words that you wouldn’t be allowed to say around anyone else.
11. Read.
12. Prepare yourself for an invasion. It doesn’t matter what species. There is bound to be an invasion.
13. Sleep.
14. Invite friends over, but usually they say they are busy so you are left alone.
15. You host your own television show.