It’s nearing February 14th and love is in the air, but for some, it may seem lonelier than ever. This doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. The most valuable relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. When you build a good relationship with yourself and learn to love yourself, you start to become aware of what is worthy of you. Your time, your energy, your love: all these things you effortlessly pour into those around you, you should also be giving generously to yourself. There’s no need to be selfish or shallow, but you should always treat yourself like someone you love. Treat yourself with respect and value, plan fun things to do alone, or buy yourself flowers. You will never regret investing in yourself. 

What’s so scary about being alone? Most people are intimidated by the fear of loneliness, but being alone and being lonely are not the same. Although it might feel uncomfortable at first, it’s important to learn to enjoy your own company and value time with yourself. Maya Roberts (10) recounts how she is learning to be more comfortable with being alone.

 “I listen to a lot of music whenever I’m alone. I’m trying to learn how to be better at being alone because I’m not very good at it. I think it is very important to be okay with being alone and being by yourself. Also, it’s important to be okay with yourself and with who you are. I’m still trying to figure out how to be okay with that,” Roberts said.

Often, it’s difficult to find room in chaotic and over-scheduled days to make time for yourself. It’s important to set aside time alone, so you have the opportunity to reflect and plan for yourself. Learning to be comfortable in your own company is a very important skill to exercise. When you start to become comfortable with yourself, it is easier to grow and improve as an individual. 

Rachel Shope (10) describes her experience with learning self love and confidence.

“I’ve found that a lot of where I get my self-confidence and love is from stepping outside of my comfort zone. Of course, though, this often comes with a lot of awkwardness and rejection, but sometimes it really pays off. It’s been a great way for me to learn new things about myself and grow, as well as learn to love the person I am, although it’s a constant mental battle,” Shope said.

As a teenager in this day and age, one of the most difficult eternal battles is learning to love yourself and to become comfortable with yourself. Building confidence is hard, but so is living in fear of other people’s opinions. Being authentic is hard, but so is trying to be something you are not. Asking for help is hard, but so is struggling in silence. Loving yourself is hard, but so is tearing yourself apart. You get to choose your hard.